…it reminded me of a time when… 100wc

…it reminded me of a time when… 100wc

 

I looked at the lavishly decorated shop,  with elegant silk curtains and stocked with antique toys, barbies and plush stuffed animals, …it reminded me of a time when having ornate figurines and toys was the norm. Now these are deemed As useless fragments of sentiment. It reminded me of a time when having money to afford these things was the majority. I scanned the hazelnut brown shelves  fantizing about one day posseing one. The loud buzz of the floaters hovering along the road snapping me back into my simple little reality.

 

3 thoughts on “…it reminded me of a time when… 100wc

  1. Lexi,
    this is outstanding writing. I particularly love the way you choose such a wide range of descriptive vocabulary.
    And the way you use show not tell to make us aware of the futuristic setting is brilliant!
    Do run your writing through spellcheck though- fantizing-fantasy/fantasizing; posseing-possess/possessing.
    Great work!
    Ant

  2. Hi Alexia,
    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a sentence – ‘it reminded me of a time when.’ Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting, looking around in a shop. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a piece about shopping, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This theme of shopping is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people have experienced shopping on their own or with their family and friends at some point in their lives. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have also enjoyed shopping, enjoying the opportunity to spend time with friends and family, buying things, and getting to spend hard earned cash. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, such as how it was the shop was ‘lavish’, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like the material of the curtains, made of silk, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece continues to develop, as the reader describes the rest of the shop. With all the collectables surrounding the character, the reader is lost in a world of luxuries from another time. It is as if the reader themselves were in the shop and seeing all the antique toys, figures and other items. The ending of the character assessing how there was a simpler time when such items were more widespread is interesting. Many people in the past would have struggled to own such luxury, so the world created seems like a more prosperous one. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of the ellipsis. Keep up the good work!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Skip to toolbar